The Serie A dept. of useless information — The March edition.

By Frank Risorto

Welcome back to this month’s Serie A department of useless information where we’ve got a family vendetta against a couple of regions in Italy, two coaches who finds it impossible not to substitute two of their own, a team’s hatred of Sundays and the Italian Cal Ripken.

Before we get lost in the beautiful and chaotic world of Serie A I have to say the feedback from the last few stories has been very well appreciated, so a massive thank you.

A big thank you also to legendary MLB writer Jayson Stark, who provided the inspiration behind these weird and wonderful columns.

So, without further ado, andiamo.

All stats are courtesy of FBRef.com

Marco Giampaolo and Alessio Dionisi have some nerve.

As we were preparing our humble column to discuss Simone Trimboli’s consecutive run of an unused sub on 25 consecutive matchdays Giampaolo gave Trimboli a 7-minute spell in Sampdoria’s 3–1 loss to Juventus.

To make matters worse, the reigning bench champ Federico Peluso got two minutes against Inter Milan on Matchday 26. Two minutes.

Peluso warmed up as usual, did his routine alongside the epic Sassuolo moat and then unbelievably got the call, ‘Fede, you’re up’.

And then got two minutes of football for the first time in nearly two years.

On the opposite spectrum Giovanni Di Lorenzo continues to be the Italian version of Cal Ripken.

Missing on the group stage game against Wales, Di Lorenzo played every match of the Euros and maintained a perfect record in this years Serie A appearing on 29 occasions and finishing every match.

The Italian Cal Ripken.

If Di Lorenzo keeps this up, at seasons end he’ll have missed eight league appearances in four seasons.

That’s 144 appearances out of a possible 152, an incredible feat considering the fullback’s work rate.

Note: Thanks to the always wonderful king of useless Calcio stats Giuseppe Pastore (@gippu1) who pointed out that Di Lorenzo was substituted for the final 15 minutes against Salernitana, what a bludger, as we say around these parts.

That can’t be said of AC Milan’s Brahim Diaz and Inter’s Lautaro Martinez.

Diaz has started 20 matches for Milan and has only finished one match being substituted and Martinez has a similar record, finishing two matches in 20 starts.

Funnily enough both have completed their ‘marathon’ 90 minutes against Salernitana, be that what it may.

Spezia’s Giulio Maggiore is doing his best to prove ‘greater’ doesn’t necessarily mean better, pun intended.

The Spezia native, who was picked up by his hometown club as a kid, and moved to AC Milan when he was 14, has been an ever present for the little Eagles however don’t count on the club captain for a goal, with Maggiore taking 34 shots this season, with only six on target.

In Rome, with limited minutes of course, youngsters Cristian Volpato and team-mate Edoardo Bove have the perfect record of one shot, one goal scored.

Sassuolo’s Mehdi Bourabia is also a member of the exclusive ‘one shot club’ thanks to his one goal against Venezia earlier this season.

Roma’s Tammy Abraham, continues his stellar debut season in Italy, and has now scored against 10 different teams, how long before he completes the set?

Sampdoria’s Morten Thorsby, or as he’s known around these parts, the king of the yellows, is going for a different record of sorts, after picking up his 10th yellow card of the season against Atalanta, his second season in a row hitting double figures.

The king of the yellows, Morten Thorsby.

The Norwegian midfielder, who can’t sneeze on the field without picking up a yellow, has amassed 29 yellow cards in three seasons.

Regardless of his disciplinary record, he’s a fun watch.

At least he’s consistent, something that also applies to Fiorentina’s Giacomo Bonaventura.

The midfielder was sent off against Sassuolo received his marching orders on matchday 27 in his sides 2–1 loss.

Bonaventura’s only other ever red card, seven years earlier whilst playing for AC Milan in 2014–15 and you should know by now what’s about to happen.

Of course, it was against Sassuolo, who else?

Has anyone else noticed the Simeone family vendetta against the Veneto and Piedmont regions?

Not renowned as a prolific goal scorer, Diego Simone when coming up against Vicenza turned himself into a goal machine of sorts scoring four goals in five appearances.

His son, Hellas Verona striker Giovanni Simeone, has five goals in two appearances against Venezia.

Diego’s record against Juve and Torino is even more impressive, scoring six times in 19 appearances in his time in Italy.

Giovanni has 12 goals in 23 appearances against Juve and Torino.

The chip on the shoulder lives long in the Simeone memory.

Praise be to Gio and his wonderful season, and long may the Tudor renaissance continue in Verona.

Empoli’s Andrea Pinamonti needs just one more goal to become the second highest goal scorer to have played under manager Aurelio Andreazzoli.

Only Francesco ‘Ciccio’ Caputo (22 goals) and Alfredo Donnarumma (12 goals) have scored more under the 68-year-olds watch.

Lazio’s Luis Alberto continues to shine, in Rome.

The Spanish midfielder, who’s made 25 appearances this season, has seven assists this season and all of them are at home. He’s yet to lay on a single assist in the league away from the capital.

Who doesn’t like Sundays?

Maurizio Sarri’s Lazio, that’s who.

Lazio’s league record on a Saturday in 10 matches.

7 wins, 1 loss and 2 draws.

Lazio’s league record on Sundays in 12 matches.

7 losses, 3 wins and 2 draws.

With the city of Rome open for business on a Sunday, let’s hope Lazio start to show up to work, on any given Sunday.

What are the odds that their remaining eight fixtures are all played on a Sunday?

Sassuolo forwards Giacomo Raspadori and Gianlucca Scamacca are big fans of being on the road it seems.

The two strikers’ home and road splits speak for themselves.

Raspadori at home — 11 starts, 1 goal.

Raspadori away — 13 starts, 8 goals.

Scamacca at home — 8 starts, 3 goals.

Scamacca away — 9 starts, 9 goals.

Perhaps Sassuolo’s abiity to sit deep and hit sides on the counterattack comes into play when they’re away from home or they shine, away from the bright lights and big crowds of the MAPEI.

Meanwhile, Sassuolo’s greatest ever player continues to do his thing, home and away.

Domenico Berardi has 26 starting appearances with 12 goals and 11 assists to his name.

This is third season Berardi’s hit double figures for goals in his career and the fifth time he’s registered double figures in assists.

Someday the world outside of Italy will all realise what an incredible player Berardi truly is, for now, let’s just continue to enjoy the Calabrian from Sassuolo.

Thanks for reading, stay safe and enjoy your Calcio.

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